Ann’s Requiem Mass was celebrated at All Hallows Church on Thursday, 6 February 2025. Her son-in-law Michael Kontoudis reflected on Ann’s life.
Reflecting on the life of Ann Eddy and celebrating what she meant to all of us and the legacies she has left behind, I can see the prominent thread that weaves all the different aspects of Ann’s life together. Ann was a caregiver, devoted to caring for others in times of need. Caregiving was present in everything Ann did, and it defined her, even from her earliest years.
She was born Kah Long Chua in Muar, Malaysia, on 4 February 1952, the third of eight children, and the eldest daughter. She was baptised “Ann” after Saint Anne, who quite fittingly is the patron saint of caring mothers and grandmothers.
Life was challenging in rural Malaysia. Ann’s family was hard-working but poor. Early on, Ann assumed the role of big sister, helping to look after her younger siblings and support the household. Ann did the best with what she had, but even though she was a bright and capable student, her opportunities were limited.
In an act that demonstrated Ann’s determination and courage, she emigrated to Australia in her early twenties to pursue a better life. In Perth, she studied nursing and found a lifelong occupation that complemented her caring, hardworking and conscientious nature; a tough and important job centred on the wellbeing of others. Continuing to support her family at home, Ann sent money home to Malaysia to support her younger siblings in completing their education.
Ann advanced her nursing career by moving to Melbourne and working in palliative care at the Olivia Newton-John Cancer Centre in Heidelberg and at Caritas Christi in Kew. She was attentive and comforting, supporting people in their most difficult moments. During this time Ann also forged lifelong friendships with her fellow nurses. For many years, and even after they stopped working together, Ann and her nursing friends would catch up once a month for dinner and remained in regular contact.
Ann’s life took a significant turn in the early 1980s, when she accompanied a friend to a party at a home in Talbot Avenue in Balwyn and there she met Reg Eddy. They were married in July 1984, at All Hallows, and Talbot Avenue became their shared family home. Rita, was born in 1985, and Andrew followed in 1987. Ann and Reg worked hard to provide for and educate their children, enrolling them both in private schools. For Ann and her siblings, education had been a path to prosperity, and so she was determined to ensure that her children enjoyed every opportunity to learn and succeed.
Ann was a quietly stubborn and determined person, and I imagine that this sort of determination is what granted her the grit and tenacity to leave her life in Malaysia and pursue a better life in Australia. But this aspect of Ann’s personality also manifested in her refusal to compromise certain high standards. Her tea and coffee had to be served piping hot, every time, and if her beverage was not dangerously scalding, Ann did not want it.
Ann’s determined and productive personality also meant that she was always early. When I say always, I mean always. And when I say she was early, I mean at least 15 to 20 minutes early, every time. Ann was incapable of being late, and I think she found the idea intolerable. She was so incredibly quick on her feet for a lady of such small stature, and always seemed to be rushing, deftly weaving through crowds in supermarkets and leaping out of cars before they had come to a complete stop. There were only a few things that could bring Ann to a standstill and force her to sit down.
One was the cricket. Ann loved five-day test matches and would watch hours of the telecast each day with a furrowed brow, growing anxious any time Australia was not dominating their opposition. “Aiya” she would say, unable to understand why a paid professional cricketer couldn’t make a simple catch, and another favourite pastime of Ann’s was talking to her sister, in Singapore. These marathon conversations would last for hours as they exchanged family news and developments. If you tried to call Ann and found her phone line engaged, you knew there was a chance you wouldn’t get a hold of her for hours.
Her other interests, like her dedication to her favourite soap opera paled in comparison to her devotion to the Church. Ann’s faith was the bedrock of her life. She attended Mass nearly every day and knew all the priests and parishioners by name. In her church, Ann found community and purpose and comfort. True to Ann’s caring spirit, whenever she was not physically helping someone in need, she was at church or at home, praying for their wellbeing.
And perhaps the only thing of equal importance to Ann’s love of family and her church were her two grandchildren, Luke and Ellie. Ann adored them and she cared for them frequently over the years and possessed a unique ability to soothe them with her gentle voice.
Ann showered Luke and Ellie with the sort of love and affection that is foundational to a child’s development, and her grandchildren have grown up feeling her love for them in a real and physical way that is ingrained in them, forever. Their grief and loss at having been parted from their beloved “Ama” is profound.
In the last 10 years of her life, Ann faced daunting challenges. When Reg was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2014, Ann did what she did best, leaping into immediate action and assuming her role as his nurse and caregiver. Ann was there for Reg for every single minute, hour and day of his illness, and she never left his side. And so, when Ann fell ill herself, it came time for the caregiver to rely upon the care of others, and for the nurse to become the patient. And perhaps because of the example she had set, there were many who stepped up to support Ann tirelessly in challenging times. First and foremost, Ann’s children, Rita and Andrew, who between them took her to medical appointments, watched over her at home each day, and saw that her needs were always met. We also extend our gratitude to Ann’s sister-in-law, Patricia Craven, who has worked tirelessly in the past few weeks to support Ann and her children, in ways both practical and emotional.
We also thank Ann’s family, in particular her brother Michael, and Jonathan, Larry, Xiao Ching and Wendy, and the many friends who visited and supported her, including Gladys, Cecilia, Kitt, Jenny, Rose, and Jinsi, to name just a few.
Faced with no choice but to continue to live our lives without her, I expect that each of us here will honour Ann’s memory in our own ways, each day.
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Joan Mclachlan says:
. A beautiful eulogy filled with love and respect.. Thank you for sharing. Jx 🙏