Sometimes in the merry-go-round of life, with its moments of joy and swagger, but increasingly its swathes of busyness and the constant updating of to-do lists, we just need time out.
We need time to pause and slow, catch up with our thoughts and feelings, do a bit of an internal or spiritual audit. We are all on soul journeys, twinned as they are with our life journeys. However, there are times when we are becalmed, not moving anywhere, not necessarily going backwards, but not gaining much forward momentum either. These are the times when a retreat can give you a little spiritual boost, a renewed comfort in faith and an understanding that, whatever our progress, it is unique to us. God knows our story and he’s not telling.
Recently, I had the good fortune to attend a day’s retreat at Campion College in Studley Park. It was to be a time-out day when the usual Saturday urgencies of shopping and visiting and doing a load of washing, drying and folding were put on hold. It was a come and rest day; a day to be still, contemplate, go gently and to be refreshed while we thought about winter as a season of waiting.
Winter in Melbourne can be bitter. As I write this now, my laptop tells me it’s 8 degrees outside and I have a bright pink scarf round my neck. As well as a skivvy and jumper, I have a serviceable long black cardigan on. My fingers are just beginning to unfreeze as I tap away after having come in after a quick jaunt to Anne’s Pantry to get a chicken and leek pie for lunch. My heater has a mind of its own and I am thinking about putting a blanket over my legs at 3:47 pm in the afternoon. Physically, winter is about feeling the cold, so we need to wrap up warmly and not worry about sartorial elegance.
Spiritually, there are times when we can feel the cold, instead of the warmth. We experience emotional and spiritual winters. Perhaps our usual patterns have been disrupted or something critical has happened. Perhaps a deep disappointment has leached the joy out of life. Maybe there’s just a pervading sense of doom and gloom which is matched by the grey sky and bleak weather outside. Not only that, we cannot pretend that the global news does not cause us to worry when we think of the conflicts in the Middle East and the global rumblings elsewhere.
So, some time out does us good. We need to collect our thoughts, think things through, let the chatter and clutter go. I yearn to simplify many things in my life, but I also know that the waiting for the right time is part of the process. Part of doing a retreat is just being able to sit with yourself and gaze inwardly.
After introductions and setting the scene for stillness and surrender, we were invited to sit to contemplate the following passage from Isaiah 55: 8-11:
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
We were asked to listen to words and phrases or images that resonated with us. What was the state of my heart? What did I need? What was I looking for? Was it just a change of pace so that my heart could catch up with all the other things in my life? For me, the words bud and flourish seemed to strike a note and I thought about getting through the winter and the emergence of spring, the season of starting over again and the spring cleaning of the heart. And there was the embedded hope that meditating on God’s word would accomplish his purpose.
Throughout the day we were given prayers and poems to think about with time out to walk in the gardens or the labyrinth or to sit still in the library or find an empty room to journal. Then we would hear what people said when they shared. There was no compulsion, only invitation. This is always fascinating because people tell the truth and this is compelling. Other people have a way of looking at the world and responding with utter candour and openness. It is a privilege to hear someone else’s interpretation, especially when it makes you think WOW! Such insight, whether spiritual or personal, is a gift shared companionably. Without it having to be said, we knew we were in a circle of trust.
Thinking about winter, we read that we need to be patient and to enjoy the wordless sermons of trees as they change and endure. This reminded me that we need to be alert, to look around us, take notice, pay attention. I wrote about the slices of silence in which to drop the thoughts that have been trembling on the brink of recognition. Old thoughts dug up and dusted off, renewed. New thoughts to energise and galvanise. We read about the blessings of winter and all that is happening invisibly underground. The Persian poet Rumi reminds us, And don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. It’s quiet, but the roots down there are riotous.
So much is happening below the surface in winter. So much happening in our own souls. Perhaps we need this chapter of winter desolation to receive the consolation that will come with spring. There will be new buds and blooms and a gentle greening will take place.
We need to practice patience, knowing that for everything there is a time and a purpose under heaven. So, I will wait the winter out, endure the during of these months, do my best to be cheerful, nourish my body and soul with rest and retreat, readying myself for the brighter days to come.
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Kerry Bourke says:
Thanks for this uplifting view of winter! It is a very practical way to “rest our minds” and to work on a positive way to look forward to better things to come.